This Certain Side of Me
by 1Phantom Pherax2
Summary: When Toboe dies Tsume's heart breaks and yearns to be with the pup once more. A oneshot of Tsume's feelings after Toboe is killed. Rated for language and shounenai


"This Certain Side of Me"

**A/N:** This is a quick one-shot of Tsume's feelings after Toboe's death. And let me tell you, I cried so much that one episode. /sniffle/ This one-shot seemed to have beenpretty well liked the last time it was posted so I thought I'd do it again and see if anyone new would read it. Here's for new and old reviewers! One minor change, however, this one-shot will be in bold font. Kind of weird, but then, it's me.

Disc: Don't own it, love it, Toboe's the best, don't sew me, I'm not worth raisins, can't write sappy moments, need to work on that, enjoy yourself, and NUNKER BUNKERs!

**Toboe…  
****I never thought this day would seek me out. But then, I never would have imagined I could let someone get as close to me as I let you. Kind of hard to believe isn't it? But you drove me to find Paradise. You wouldn't let me give up. And I wanted to share it with you. Then again, you're probably already there. Do the flowers smell as sweet as you dreamed? I'll even bet against the odds that you're with your old human. Somehow I wish you could tell me, let me see what you see. It wouldn't be so bad. I even wonder if you miss me. Do you even remember me now that you've found Paradise?**

**Toboe…  
****As hard as it would be for you to believe, you've helped me see a different side of myself. Because when reality sinks in and I realize you're gone, I also realize that this heart I possess continually breaks within the confines of my rib cage. More painful than anything I've ever been put through. When I saw you lying next to that old man lifeless, unmoving, I could feel it shatter. I never wanted to believe that this would be how you would leave me. You and your ridiculous liking for humans. I never understood it. You know it even made me jealous that you would risk everything to protect them. I wish you knew how hard it is for me to see beyond this ridiculous blur in my own eyes. This is completely idiotic.**

**Toboe look at me! This damn heart is screaming in pain, in broken pieces, how the hell could I possibly put it back together again! Is _this_ how _you_ wanted to leave me? Is _this_ how _you_ wanted things to be! Why did you have to leave at all? Why couldn't you have just lasted a little bit longer? It feels like it's my fault. I wanted to protect you; why didn't I go with you?**

**So tell me Toboe, does this seem like the same distant, cold Tsume you remember? Well does it! Because I don't feel the same. Do you think I'll be happy knowing I wasn't there to protect you like you protected that old man! Answer me dammit!**

**This isn't easy for me, you know. I was never one for showing emotions, they didn't suit me. I guess, in a way, I've always had my own fog around me, making it so no one could see past what I wanted them to see. Though I can't say you haven't done a good job of seeing past the same fog I put out. You knew I cared and you decided to leave things as they were. I know you cared about me just the way I was.**

**You chose to push yourself, determined to show us you weren't just a runt. That you could make it to Paradise with us. I think I was convinced after you trashed that walrus.**

**You know we're almost there Toboe. Almost to the gate of Paradise. If I'm lucky it'll accept me and I'll be able to see you again. **

**I'm not the only one that misses you, you know. But I probably miss you the most out of us all. My eyes are still churned over, the damn tears still falling, still betraying the façade I put forth. Tell me Toboe, would you keep going if you felt the way I do now? Because I will, if not just to see you. I came this far with you so I'll finish the rest _for_ you. I don't want to forget you Toboe, but if I do I hope we meet again.**

**We're almost there. Just a little farther to the gates. But there's still something else I want to say and to ask. If I don't I might never get another chance.**

**I wanted to say that…well, I love you…Toboe. I've realized that, but I guess the realization came a little too late. I let myself love you after so long, and that's why this hurts more then what I let on.**

**But what I wanted to ask was; after all we've been through together, after all the stuff you know about me, and after everything I've said to you…could you ever love someone like me in return?**

**The gates of Paradise, we finally made it…**

**Toboe…**

**A/N:** And I bet you can guess what happened after that…/sniffle, sniffle/

Shnitzkerfunkerdoodle! Why did Toboe have to die! Wahh/huddles in corner and cries/ And if you're wondering about my word choice, yeah, I made them up. XD They my words! Yep, yep, yep.

**Shuri:** And you're an idiot bordering on moron.

XD;;; ………


End file.
